How to stop violence against women

In these hours the words that are read almost repetitively are "we knew it." We knew this not because Giulia Cecchettin or Filippo Turetta had left a letter with their declarations of intent or an alarming message, but because it is not the first feminicide, but yet another.
After years of very high numbers, we know how to recognize the patterns of gender violence.
Violence against women at the hands of men can be included within a "pyramid" which has sexist language at its base – so common in our media and always in the mouths of our politicians – and at the top of which there is the most explicit violence , such as the psychological one, rape and ultimately feminicide.
To stop violence against women it is not enough to know and it is not even necessary to pray, as Antonio Tajani did; there is a need to break down the base of the pyramid, or to act in a complex way: from the education of the little ones, to prevention thanks to an awareness system that passes through adult dissemination channels, such as television.
Reading the comments of the representatives of the governing parties it seems that they do not know how to stop gender violence, because they never mention the ingredient which, according to statistical data and the bottom-up request of associations, activists and ordinary people, could really make the difference for future generations: sexuality education.
“How to stop violence against women?” it is an atavistic question because in the current state of affairs it will never see a solution.
There is not enough movement in the direction of education and prevention and the tightening of the laws serves the concept of justice, which comes after violence.
You must first suffer the violence, demonstrate that you have suffered it and then perhaps (if you have the right judge, the right lawyer, if you can't find any tricks to place the blame on the victim and if the abuser is not too rich, a person who always said hello, a nice guy who made cookies and called too much) then, and only then, does one get an acknowledgment of the violence.
But to stop violence against women, first of all there is a need for education in Italy, which is still one of the few countries in the European Union that does not have the obligation to provide sexuality education at school.
Violence against women: towards November 25 Violence against women: let's talk about numbers Education and prevention: the need for an extra step Violence is committed by men against women, but they do nothing Sexuality education and cultural revolution are needed read also Feminicide or femicide, what's the difference? Violence against women: let's talk about numbers In order to talk about a complex phenomenon like gender violence, we need to talk about numbers.
The pyramid of gender violence has already been mentioned in the introduction: each of the phenomena cited by the pyramid is accompanied by percentages that the major statistical centers update every year.
Even the website of the Ministry of Health or that of the Italian government have spaces dedicated to violence against women at the hands of men, described as a public health problem, cultural and social problem.
There is even a dedicated day, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women set on November 25 by the United Nations General Assembly.
On November 25th, states, associations and individuals will meet to discuss the phenomenon of gender violence and possible solutions.
Throughout the month of November there are days dedicated to activism, awareness and education.
So no longer a day, but a month.
But violence continues to exist and is perhaps another slogan that best expresses the amount of time needed to educate: "November 25th is every day." But if this is the case, why have 70% of funding for the prevention of gender violence been cut in the last year? In fact, compared to 2022, the amount went from 17 million to 5 million euros in 2023.
These are insufficient funds to address: cases of sexist language victim blaming gender pay gap catcalling stalking non-consensual sharing of intimate material economic violence stealthing reproductive coercion rape violence psychological feminicide read also Is chemical castration "the solution" according to Salvini? Here's what the Minister of Justice thinks Education and prevention: the need for an extra step The secretary of the Democratic Party, Elly Schlein, turned to the Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni to put aside political differences and bring home concrete results in the field of education and prevention against violence against women.
He writes: I also address the other political forces, politics on this matter must not be reduced to repeated declarations and rituals.
We can and must do more.
We must stop this spiral of violence, it affects us all.
And it concerns men first and foremost, because it cannot be a cry and commitment only of women fighting for their freedom.
The problem of gender violence is a male problem.
Awareness is needed to eradicate the patriarchal culture that permeates our society.
However, the legitimate request from the secretary of the PD could be faced with an insurmountable obstacle: ideology.
In fact, only six months ago the League and the Brothers of Italy abstained on the "Istanbul Convention" against violence against women, motivating the decision with reference to a general concern on issues related to gender.
Strange, because the treaty focuses on preventing and combating violence against women and not against gender identity.
The ideological problem is that, as widely supported by Pro Vita & Famiglia, education on sexuality and affectivity is seen as something left-wing and a potential risk of manipulation in the little ones.
It goes without saying that it is from an early age that concepts such as respect and consent, equality and justice are more likely to take root.
They call it "gender theory", because according to the detractors of sexuality education in schools there is a risk of talking about sex and sexuality to minors.
A "risk" that they still face on a daily basis in less safe environments such as their own bedrooms, through the internet (when they do not follow activism profiles) in the family, made up of adults who themselves have not had gender education.
read also “I felt raped”, “No, you asked for it”: the Emy Buono case breaks out after the championship celebration Violence is from men against women, but they do nothing Despite some regretful declarations, some prayers to God and the hypothesis of an all-men demonstration against feminicide, what should the allies really do? With every new violent event, at least the more explicit ones such as rape and femicide, a huge group of men move between television and social media to say loudly "Not all men".
A statement that perhaps Filippo Turetta himself or Alessandro Impagnatiello made in the past, believing that they would never do it, but then it happened.
“If men want to become allies – writes the psychologist Federica di Martino (@Ivgstobenissimo) – they can remain silent and listen, read and understand, before speaking”, but also take to the streets, use their privilege to pass the microphone to those who are part of marginalized categories for whom this voice is systematically silenced and does not take away space.
But above all: Choose a nice shed, comfortable rooms, physical places and online spaces where you can meet to deconstruct collectively.
Create male self-awareness groups in which to bring out your fragilities and your privilege.
Learn from feminist movements and practices, don't wait for women to educate you and do all the work for you.
We don't have the time, strength or desire to work on feminism, outside the practice of care, because we are not your mothers.
Stop occupying our spaces, stop giving them our spaces.
We have to think about watching our backs and not get killed if we can.
read also Code Red, ok by the Chamber: the new rules against domestic and gender violence in 6 points We need education on sexuality and cultural revolution The two points mentioned above are the foundation of change and improvement of society: on the one hand, education to sexuality (not just relationship education which should only come in high school and in a reduced form) and prevention, on the other the deconstruction of violence as romantic and normal.
We need education in respect, non-violence, consensus, feelings, rejection, differences, against gender stereotypes and prejudices, against behaviors normalized by our television and sometimes by the voices of our politics.